I really don't know where this sudden self respect is coming from. Really, I don't. But all of the sudden I truly believe that I have worth, and although it's a little strange I suppose that means you don't get to use me anymore. I used to find my worth in your hugs and your smiles, and therefore I would do whatever you wanted like a mindless little doll, but not anymore. Trust me, I don't understand it either, but I no longer want you to even touch me. I no longer want you to think you can get anywhere near me without it being a wonderful gift, rather than a given. Its a completely foreign feeling but I suddenly feel like I'm just fine standing on my own two feet, as though those words I've been spouting about it only being God and me are actually true, and I want nothing more than to dance all alone. My clear visions of love and laughter and dancing and waves are muddled by the addition of another person; their rhythm is all off and the bells no longer ring clearly. So away with you! We are all gifts to each other, but we are not owned by each other.
I cannot say for sure where this new strength is coming from, but I could guess that it's from my Father, and your mistake of forgetting He is a jealous Love.
-wind and lilies and sparrows
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